Stop that clock. Time is ticking and you’re not getting any younger! Once they pass the quarter century most girls are terrified of hitting that startling age of 30. Let alone the simple fact that women obsess about their looks a lot more than men, they stress over finding their ideal lifetime partner once they hit their early twenties.
Within our culture there are constant pressures from family and society regarding marriage. People often raise red flags around those who aren’t committed by that conspicuous age of 30. Questions and concerns surround those who are still looking or simply aren’t quite ready for a commitment.
Then you have divorce to worry about. What if you get married too quick, too young? Questions arise: is he the right one for you? Was it really your choice or mama’s? After all this is an “I DO” for life! And you don’t just want to commit the horrible mistake of easy come, easy go.
“Just as a guarantee for their ‘future’ some people nowadays get married really young, out of despair not love, find themselves trapped or irresponsible and get divorced! Now what good did those pressures and worries do!?” said 26-year-old, Mona.A.
Women and even men find themselves stuck in a loop wondering if that’s really what they want deep down their hearts or if it’s the haunting voices they hear at the back of their heads. They don’t want to hear the obnoxious reminders from the family friend or the mother about it being the time you start a family and that 30 is by far the crucial time to do so before “you miss you marriage train” in exact Egyptian translation.
A guy may be worried about finding his niche in life and preparing for manhood and fatherhood. Once again, it’s no joke; This is an “I Do” for the Rest OF Your LIFE. There is no going back and there will be no setbacks over silly games and mistakes done at 18. You need to be ready emotionally as much as you should be financially.
“I think girls stress about marriage and kids a lot more than men, it’s their age, the competition with their friends and it’s almost natural in our culture to do so. As for us men, yes we do think about it and sometimes do stress over it especially when the parents are nagging, but at the end, finances and love clash. We have to be ready and find the woman we want to spend the rest of our lives with, no rules about it” said 29-year-old, Ahmed.A.
Women stress over their class and reputation being shattered, not to mention, almost all girls are just born with a motherly instinct. Most females are just born to nurture; Others, not in a million years! On the other hand, men are over hearing it from the mother and after years and that time comes when he’s done partying and being the playboy he originally is, his grey hairs are starting to show and he’s definitely ready to settle down and raise a family before ‘its too late.’ After all who wants to mistake your papa for your grandpapa? The earlier you have kids the better, that’s what we breed at least.
“It is a bit extreme for someone to have a kid at 37 or 40; I think that creates a huge gap between your child and yourself. However, burying your youth with marriage and kids at 20 is also a bit extreme,” said 28-year-old, Nadia.A.
Not only is marriage a natural and necessary part of life, that’s how you spread your seed through the circle of life. That’s what you leave behind, the memory of you; the remains of you after you leave this earth. That being true for most people, what makes 30 the top of the chart? Is it the actual number the sets these standards or is it the fear and the despair of finding your mate?!!
What ever your answer is, find your soul’s goal before taking the fall!
A Few Marriage Misconceptions:
Lie: All you need is love!
Truth: NOT! Love alone does not keep a marriage alive.
True understanding of one’s needs and background, great communication, sacrifice, compromise and patience are vital in a marriage. Not to mention that financial stability definitely eliminates lots of major issues from arising. Some couples believe that love alone will make a marriage last and truth is, in some marriages couple argue over finances, how they raise their kids, how they live their lives, and of course over how they treat each other. The honeymoon stage is over and you’re living reality. Constant attention and pampering is down to a minimum, but after all, we’re all different. Love definitely carries a huge importance but emotions are fickle, and marriages built on them are houses built on sand.
Lie: Sex is irrelevant in a marriage
Truth: It sure is important and necessary!
More than a few Muslims believe this, at least subconsciously, if not outright. They mistake the extreme intimacy of the act, confusing it with something that surely must be less-than-holy. However, sexual intercourse is not merely for conception, it’s also an act to bring couples closer, becoming literally one two bodies in one. It’s been proven that couples with a bad or no sex life are not only unhappy but usually cheat or get divorced.
Lie: Intimacy comes from being around each other
Truth: Physical closeness can only express the deepness of heart intimacy between the married couple.
Many people think that physical intimacy is the only intimacy that is available. In fact, it is a secondary rather than a primary intimacy. Physical intimacy is based upon heart intimacy. You don’t need to be around your partner every second of the day to feel that close bond. What’s in the heart remains whether or not you’re by his/her side daily.
Regular physical interaction were never meant to substitute the heart relationships between the couple. The physical relationship was designed to deepen the expression of the one-heart relationship, not create it.
Lie: Too many children cause chaos and family breakdown
Truth: Children have nothing to do with it; the partners do the final damage
A houseful of wild banshee-children circle a couple who fling abuse at each other while a pile of bills builds up in the middle of their kitchen table. This is the image most people have of large families but it is founded on a fallacy.
A family where the marriage is secure and well-balanced, and the family size is built on generosity, may be messy, but is fundamentally built on love. Every relationship in a family is a bond that holds it together. Two people share only one bond, three people share three, four people share six, and so forth.
QUESTS FOR LIFE 